


All About Your Heart

by AdmirableMonster (Mertiya)



Series: All About Your Heart Verse [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Maglor is the best wingman, OR IS IT, Only One Bed, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, light genderswap, questioning genderfluid Mae, sexuality questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27577295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertiya/pseuds/AdmirableMonster
Summary: Maedhros is visiting Fingon, but Fingon seems to have a bit of a bee in his bonnet about his couch.  It's just not usable as a bed.  Which means, of course, that there is only ONE bed.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: All About Your Heart Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044087
Comments: 24
Kudos: 48





	All About Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starlightwalking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/gifts).



> with thanks to Moiety for crucial suggestions.
> 
> for starlightwalking because they are an INSPIRATION 
> 
> loosely inspired by this tweet: https://twitter.com/yukawwi/status/1327276890487394307?s=21
> 
> title from the song of the same name by Mindy Glenhill, also known as THE russingon song
> 
> EDIT: 8lottie8 made this AWESOME MOODBOARD for genderfluid mae: https://lottiefairchildbranwell.tumblr.com/post/636795409458675712/a-genderfluid-mae-moodboard-for-mertiyas-modern
> 
> which is now embedded in the beginning of the fic

It has been a wonderful evening.Maedhros is full of pasta and weak from laughter.Fingon refused to let him help, “You’re my _guest_ , Russ.”He even made home-made sauce, while Maedhros sat in the kitchen and they both half-watched a terrible anime movie called _Empire of Corpses_.Then they went to the couch and kept watching, although Fin was a little strange about the couch.It wasn’t the same couch he used to have before Maedhros graduated, and Maedhros isn’t sure how he feels about it.Fin has been really uncharacteristically fussy about not eating on the couch, but—it _is_ very pretty, Maedhros has to admit, with a delicate floral pattern and a number of elegant, beaded cushions.Even if the cushions aren’t very comfortable.

Well, everyone has their own strange hangups.He may not have expected Fingon’s to be a couch, of all things, but he isn’t going to make a fuss.He stares into the mirror, running his hand through his red hair and realizes this is the first time he’s felt so warm and happy since the accident.He doesn’t even feel strange to be wearing the frilly soft pink pajama top that Fingon gave him, that he somehow managed to find in Maedhros’s size.He feels safe.Safe enough to take out his phone and snap a selfie, which he sends to Maglor with, _Trying this genderfluid thing on for size_.

_Looks like it fits you, big sib :P_ , he gets back a moment later, and he smiles to himself and heads back out into the main room, where Fingon is scrubbing energetically at the saucepan.He looks up, and his face turns a little darker, which makes Maedhros pause for a moment, because that’s the color of Fingon’s blush.Is he not comfortable with Maedhros like this?Maedhros’s stomach flips with nerves. 

“Is…this okay?I know it’s…it’s new,” he says awkwardly.

Fingon blinks—once, twice, three times.“I—yeah.Of course,” he says.Then he smiles, crinkling his nose up into that fond expression that makes Maedhros ache inside his chest.“I’m glad you feel comfortable enough around me to wear it.”

That soothes the fear, and Maedhros rubs the back of his neck.God.He’s in love with his step-cousin.He’s in love with his best friend.His aroace best friend.He has been for _years_ , but he can’t say anything, because Fingon _obviously_ doesn’t view him that way, and he couldn’t stand to lose the friendship they’ve built up.“So am I taking the couch as usual?” he asks, trying to get his brain back to something like functionality.

“Oh—no, sorry.”Fingon’s eyes dart over to that damn couch with something like terror.“It’s not really meant for sleeping on,” he says.“And besides, you’d be really uncomfortable, it’s way too short for you.”

Okay, that’s true—it’s not nearly as long as the old couch, and if it doesn’t fold out into a bed like that one, Maedhros will spend the night scrunched up and probably be very stiff tomorrow morning.But then what are they going to do?

“You can just take the bed,” Fingon offers, giving him a soulful look.

“You can’t sleep on couches,” Maedhros points out.Fingon is a ridiculously picky sleeper.He wakes up three dozen times a night if he’s sleeping in a new place.

“Well…” Fingon trails off.Then he looks up and says, in an oddly theatrical sort of way that confuses Maedhros, “We could share the bed.”

“Um.”Maedhros feels his face heating up at the simple thought, and he doesn’t have Fin’s darker skin to hide the blush.It will be utterly _transparent_ what he’s thinking if he doesn’t get away right now.So he does the only thing he can think of, babbles out, “if you’re sure!” and retreats immediately to Fingon’s bedroom, trying to get his breathing under control.

“Russ, you okay?”Of course Fingon follows him.

“Fine,” Maedhros gets out as he forces his breathing under control.It’s no big deal.People share beds together platonically all the time.He and Maglor have shared a bed before.He practically played a sardine once, sharing a bed with four other members of the fencing team for an away match.So it’s no big deal.He can do this.“Fine,” he repeats, taking another deep breath and still not looking at Fingon.

“If you don’t want to, I really can take the couch,” Fingon says, sounding wretched, and Maedhros’s heart smites him.

“No,” he says loudly.“Don’t be stupid.”Poor Fin.He sounds so worried about not getting a good night’s sleep.He forces himself to turn and look at Fingon, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for his behavior.“I’m still just awkward about myself.”He holds up the naked stump of his right hand; he’s already put his prosthetic in its case and tucked it away.Fingon’s face seems to melt, and he crosses the room and sits on the bed, pulling Maedhros down beside him.

“You know I’ll do anything that makes you feel good about yourself, right, Russ?” he says, and Maedhros wants so badly to kiss those plush lips as Fingon looks up at him, to run his remaining hand through Fingon’s braids, let them flow like water through his fingers.He wants—he wants—

“I know,” he croaks.He’s probably blushing again.

“Good.Oh—I wanted to ask—pronouns?”

Thank god, a safe topic of conversation.“I’m still working on that,” Maedhros tells him hesitantly.“Kind of feeling things out.I’ll let you know if I want you to change the ones you’re using, but don’t worry about it for now.”

“Sounds good.”Fingon smiles brilliantly.“And you don’t have to stick to any, I’ll change by the hour if you want me to, Russ.”

Oh, god, maybe it wasn’t a safe topic of conversation after all.“Thank you,” Maedhros stammers.Then, “I know you will.Would.Whatever.Thanks, Fin.”

“Okay, well—I’m going to go put on my PJs.Let me know if you need anything.”

“Definitely.”Maedhros tries very hard not to watch him leave, but he doesn’t quite tear his eyes away fast enough not to feel himself blush again.He takes refuge in the bed immediately, curling up on one side and trying to make himself small.He’s too damn big.He’s always taken up too much space.But he’s not going to kick Fin out of his own bed.He shuts his eyes and pretends he’s asleep already.

He hears Fingon coming back into the room.Hears his footsteps pause for a moment, then feels the bed depress as Fingon gets into it.“Russ?” Fingon says softly, but he doesn’t respond, because he _can’t_.“Russ, you can spread out a little—you dork.” _No,_ Maedhros thinks, _I’m asleep already_.Fingon sighs and then Maedhros feels fingers carding gently through his hair, and he almost stops breathing.Fingon is _petting him_.God, he can’t do this.He has to do this.He should get up right now and go sleep on the couch and damn his legs, but he _can’t_ give this up now, no matter how awful it is of him.

“Sleep well,” Fingon murmurs, and he slides into bed beside him.Maedhros can just feel the warmth of his friend at his back.He’s not going to fall asleep, that’s for sure.

* * *

He’s warm, but his right arm feels heavy, cold, and numb, and it’s that sensation that jolts him back to wakefulness.For an instant, Maedhros thinks he’s back there in the car, with his right hand trapped and the cold water inexorably flowing in, and he gasps and shudders.

He’s not there.The weight on his arm isn’t cold metal, it’s warm flesh.It’s—in the dim predawn light, Maedhros realizes it’s Fingon.Somehow they’ve moved during the night, and he’s—he’s curled up around Fingon, his right arm underneath him, his left crossed tightly over his best friend’s chest, and his knees drawn up against Fin’s.It’s the most exquisitely wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him, and he has to get out of here _immediately_ , because there’s no way that he can pass off spooning Fingon as platonic, certainly not with the way his body is already reacting.

He tries to pull back, but Fingon just follows him, making sleepy little noises and wrapping both arms around Maedhros’s right arm.Panicked, Maedhros digs his phone out from under the covers onehanded, unlocks it, and types out a message to Maglor, _HELP_.

It’s too early.Maglor doesn’t wake up this early.He still gets back a text within a few seconds.

_Jesus please tell me you got laid_

What.What is Maglor—it’s not _like_ that. _WTF,_ Maedhros sends back in sheer confused terror.

_oh my god._ Pause. _are you fucking kidding me_

_mags please I woke up and I’m cuddling Fin and I don’t know what to do_

Another pause. _KISS HIM.if you won’t do that, wake him up and ask him about the couch_

Maedhros is too sleepy for this.What is Maglor talking about?He can’t wake Fingon up when they’re entwined like this, it would be—

“Russ?”Apparently the frantic buzzing of his phone has betrayed him.Fingon makes another sleepy noise and then he turns half over and looks up at Maedhros.“Hey.It’s eaaaarrlllyyy.”He doesn’t seem remotely bothered by their respective positions.

“Maglor says to ask you about the couch,” Maedhros blurts out, because it’s all he can think of.

Fingon blinks at him, then pouts.“That traitor,” he mumbles.“Okay, fine, it’s totally a fold-out bed.”

“It.What.Why would you—what.”

His friend’s face falls a little.“I…I was hoping if we spent a night in the same bed, maybe you’d…” He bites his lip, then sighs and starts to get up.Maedhros makes a soft whining noise; he can’t help himself.He doesn’t want to let go.“It was probably stupid, but Mags egged me on.He said he thought you—maybe—had romantic feelings for me.”

Of course Maglor knew.But why would Fingon play along?“I’m sorry!” Maedhros blurts.“I’m really sorry.I didn’t mean for you to find out.”

“You.”Fingon drops back to the bed so fast he almost knocks his head into Maedhros’s.“You _what_?You _do_?You didn’t mean for me to—”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship!”

Fingon groans.“Wow, you are actually as dense as Mags said you were.Russ.I.I’ve been in love with you for years.Literal years.”He looks pleadingly up at Maedhros.“I didn’t want to push you.I knew you had so much to figure out, what with the accident and the gender stuff and all the—”

“Aren’t you aroace though?” whispers Maedhros.

A sharp-eyed glance.“Who told you that?”

“Turgon.”

“Ugh.Of course he did.No wonder you wouldn’t—”Fingon cuddles up closer to Maedhros.“Russ, I’m _gray_ ace.And maybe arospec, I don’t know?But I didn’t tell him he could tell anyone, and I’ve been figuring it out, and none of it’s relevant where you’re concerned, because you’re one of the only people I want to—” he swallows.“I want you.A lot.”

“Oh,” says Maedhros limply.“Oh my god, Fin.”

Fingon giggles and presses himself into Maedhros.“Yeah,” he says.“We’re both dumb.I guess Mags was right.I’ve been texting him all night.”

Maedhros jerks out a laugh.“No wonder he was so done when I texted him just now.”He swallows and tightens his arms around Fingon, because he can _do that_.Because Fingon wants him to do it.He clears his throat, and he’s blushing again.“Does that mean—can I kiss you?”

“If you don’t kiss me, I’m going to lie on top of you and grind against you for the next hour.”

“Is that supposed to be a deterrent?” Maedhros asks incredulously.

“Well,” Fingon says, with a half-grin.“It would be more fun if there was kissing involved.”

He reaches for Maedhros, and Maedhros reaches for him.Their noses bump together gently and then their lips meet, and it’s slow and sweet and sleepy, because there’s no rush now.Because Fingon wants Maedhros just as much as Maedhros wants him and all of a sudden time spools out in front of them, and wild joy surges up in Maedhros’s chest again.He wraps his arms around Fin and rolls over, getting Fingon on top of him.Fingon moans softly and moves his hips, and Maedhros shudders at the sensation that goes through him at that and deepens the kiss.Fingon’s hands are tangling in his hair and—and, _oh_ , he can do it now—he can—he puts his hand on Fingon’s head and lets Fingon’s braids flow through his fingers, soft and fuzzy.

“Fin,” he murmurs, breathless, breaking the kiss just to kiss along the line of his best friend’s jaw.“Fin, you’re my best friend in the world, and I love you so much.”

Fingon wriggles against him delightfully.“Let’s not get out of bed today,” he says, his voice breathy.“Let’s just order in and put on a dumb anime movie in the background and—”

“You always have the best ideas,” Maedhros says as he nuzzles him.“But for the moment, you are _not_ to get up for anything, okay?”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Fingon tells him, and Maedhros lets himself fall into rapture.


End file.
